Medieval Medicine Buff Pillows

'Do you suppose Dr. Hippocrates had to deal with outrageous malpractice insurance rates?'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Knight Golfing

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"What the hell took so long?"

"We need to update your entire operating system."

Missing You.

The Beard in the Stone

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Oh, the armor is state of the art

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

Knights of the Square Table.

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Beware of the Dragon

Unicorn Joust

'Oh, I hate when this happens! What do you do when you get a song stuck in your head?'

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

"I hate when he stays late on the throne just to avoid the tension at home."

'I know just how you feel.'

Medieval sculptor hits thumb while carving a gargoyle.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Balloon

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."