Medieval Madness Lover Mugs

"Good morning, beheaded—uh, I mean beloved."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Spell checker!'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

Dragon and Dragoff

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'The knights are drawing closer'

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

The Tooth Ferret

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Halloween health & safety.

'I envisioned something more robust'

King Richard I

'What's this I hear about you running against me?'

"Nothing like a good stretch before looting and burning."

"Why can't you bring me a rodent like a normal cat?"

"Ground score!"

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

Extreme Sheepherding

Knight offers his opponent a glass of wine.

"I'd like to introduce our new consultant on risk management!"

DING DONG!

Monk scribe has written ornate letter 'S' which turns into 'Sod this for a lark!!'

Dragon Barbecue