Medieval Fair Lover Gifts

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

Face painting by numbers.

Hay Rides $10

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

Dragon and Dragoff

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'The knights are drawing closer'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

Roller Coasters

'I envisioned something more robust'

"Ground score!"

"Those tights pinch and chaff. We're going commando."

Knight offers his opponent a glass of wine.

'What's this I hear about you running against me?'

Medieval Page Boy

Tunnel of Love Just Friends.

Cotton candy

Man heading towards the House of Mirrors with a shaving kit.

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

John Wycliffe

"Good morning, beheaded—uh, I mean beloved."

"Have a safe trip!"

"I saw your ad on the dating site, ma'am! You're looking for an old-fashioned man, aren't you?"

'Be wary, my Liege, Arthur wants a round table.'