Medication Critic Prints

'Side effects'

"Side effects include the urge to read the side effects list, scaring you into not taking the medication."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

Funny, this is the same pill the head of the price-gouging drug company needs to take so he can sleep at night, too. Pharmac …

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

Republican Healthcare

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

Have you drugged your child today?

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Government looks for new targets over GPs pay

Prescription Drugs '96.

Surgical Self-Service

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'