Pharmaceutical Critic Prints

"You may believe you've been overcharged, but, remember, you're overmedicated."

If the drugs do cause a problem then we've got some pills that might help.

"This will buy you four months.

"Upset by the high cost of prescription drugs? There's a new drug on the market to treat that."

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

"Oh my, your blood's boiling."

"I'm comfortable reducing your medications, but the drug company has some serious concerns."

The cost of prescription drugs.

'Attention - we're combining our anti-viral and anti-bacterial placebo divisions immediately.'

"… Yes, but you only have to take it once a year."

"Luke, use to Force, or crush up the Adderall Chewbacca gave you and snort it – your call."

"Look at him. Walking around like he's God's Gift to erectile dysfunction."

"Before you say no to this prescription, let me also say that your monthly tax-deductible gift will help support a pharmaceutical executive in need."

'You've got the flu and you drink hot milk with honey instead of buying pills? If our pharmaceutical stocks should go down, I'll blame you!!'

"Ask your doctor if Zonkatrax is right for you. He's got so many samples, we know he's on it!"

"Instead of wasting time naming all the side effects, can't we just say 'stuff might happen'?"

"Now I see why your dispensing fee is so low."

"Here, this one says it gives cold relief in seven to ten days. . . wait a minute! Don't colds usually only last seven to ten days?"

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

Prescription Drugs '96.

Profits for Big Pharma

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'