Medical Trend Analyzer T-Shirts

'It didn't make sense until I conferred with your financial planner.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Men's business romper.

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

All Natural Nothing

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

"I can't believe I sold my soul for platforms, they're so last season"

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

Irony: Then and Now

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

Fashion Mag - Totally in - So last season

Kevin: King of the Social Influencers.

"I don't speak Yoga. I speak Pilates."

"We've gone glutton-free."

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

Formally foods that were good for you.

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

Designer Republic of Shoreditch

'I'm switching you from long-term growth stocks to short-term bonds.'

"How passe, darling, everyone I know is re-toxing these days!"

"Dwayne is very important to us. He knows exactly when a trend will become a craze."

"They harvest our noses then liquify them and drink the juice. They believe it gives them special powers called 'antioxidants'."

"These masks are getting skimpier every day."

"Now these prescription glasses are popular with our clients who like to be stylish yet lay low."

"I'm leaning towards the health benefits of becoming a vegetarian."