Health Trend Tracker T-Shirts

'Time to decide what diet we're going on this week.'

Coronavirus Forecast

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

All Natural Nothing

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

"Which way up do you want it?"

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"Is this piece of artwork or a chart of current market trends?"

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

'First the good news.'

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

"The economic modeling of our economic modeling suggests we need to remodel."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

"Dear, it's the financial news. Seat belts fastened, seat backs in upright position."

Hipster Police Department

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"I'm looking for a nice basic piece of clothing that can fulfill every need I have."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."