Wellness Trend Follower T-Shirts

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Inflating Boobs.

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I'm taking you off that banana diet, Mrs Smith!'

"Slow down. I need another drink. Can we rest for a minute?"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"What are you doing?"

Giraffe Selfie

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"