Medical Tactician T-Shirts

Since his girlfriend did not have insurance, Kyle tried to smuggle her in for treatment through his HMO.

'Well, well, well...'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

Cat Scan

"I'm afraid your Apple goggles aren't compatible with your X brain implant."

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Building business relations.

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

Carlo Ancelotti

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"Oh, I don't do the test myself Sir: Doctor Vampire does it..."

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

The Use of Cavalry

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

Kosovo.

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

'Talk about high-tech! You'll be getting a pacemaker ipod combo.'

"The tissues are for crying."

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'