Medical Savant Pillows

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Little doctor.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"That's a big fat lie!"

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

Parts Department

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

Doctors

Medical Examinations.

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

Vaccine hurdles

'Urology...can you hold?'

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'

'The future of medicine' "It's genomics." "I'd say proteins." "Same as always: economics."

'Where does it hurt?'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'