Medical Misunderstandings T-Shirts

'I've got a hernia.' - 'It's not catching, is it?'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"I don't think the crackling sound coming from your lower back is as serious as you thought. Just relax and I'll have this Rice Krispie Square out of your back pocket in no time."

'Well, that WAS an impressive string of obscenities, but I think I'll stick with the Hippocratic oath.'

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'

'You came through the delivery with flying colors, Mrs. Lewis.'

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

'Try not to get into any more mischief '

'Mrs. Peterson. . . Sgt. O'Leary here, I'm afraid there's been an accident and your husband is in a comma.'

Hypochondriac at two computers. One reads 'Internet diagnosis', other says 'Second opinion'.

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

"Gina remembers where she left her pen... No wonder I can't write with this. It's a rectal thermometer."

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

'...and then, when I asked if I could see her home, she showed me a photograph of her house.'

'Strip DOWN to your waist, Mr Yomp, not UP!'

"I've searched every book, also the Internet, so in desperation...I've come to you, doctor!"

'I don't give a damn what the chart says! i did not have a hysterectomy!!!'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."

Press reports suggest that caffeine could provide protection against a range of cancers.

'Advanced access' isn't REALLY about you booking an appointment in advance of having anything wrong with you!

'You idiot, I said 'ark', not 'park'.'

'I sincerely thank you for your concern, but I'm only setting up a swing.'

Man holding container entitled 'Die supplement', with newspaper headline stating 'Vitamin & mineral health risks'.

'If you please, sir, Mother's took the lotion, and rubbed her leg with the mixture!'

'It hurts when I do this.'

'There is no need to be alarmed, Mr. Shaw - there's been a mix-up in the laundry.'

'When I asked if she was critical I didn't mean verbally!'