Medical Mischief Enthusiast Prints

Hospital "They fell off the back of a trolley"

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'

'Mr Mundello, when I said strip to the waist, I meant for you to start at the top.'

'I gave you a few extra stitches - Your husband's idea, really!'

'Honestly, I'm not sure if it's functional...But I suppose there's only one way to find out.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Happy Birthday to you.

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'Time for your pills.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'Long shift?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"Gross."

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

Why you shouldn't date an anesthesiologist.

"Turn your head and cough."

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"No, your tonsils are fine. It's all the rest of you that's knackered!"

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

Mobile Operations Stand.

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'