Medical Memoirist Pillows

Surgeons Benefit From Operation.

'I'm sending you to a specialist.. don't tell him you know me.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'A problem with the Phase II trials. Everyone - all the people - was given the placebo, and no one got the drug.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'Feed a cold, starve the plague.'

Cures for Ye Plague

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

Edward Jenner

Leeches, lucky charms, rat catching. The secretary of health is in.

Early Blood Draw

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

John Snow

"I think your problem is heartbeat-from-mouth syndrome."

'I'm thinking of doing an illustrated memoir.'

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

"Out of the way amateur!"

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

An early medical case ripe for a malpractice lawsuit.

'In this practice we like to have the best of the old with the best of the new.'

'It appears you've arrived here because of some medical gobbledygook, so, to put it simply, you can now go home.'

"We use leeches on the test subjects and slugs on the control group."

"So why is it that we only get to see you whenever you need a gruesome amputation?"

Jugular Vein

'I'm afraid you've contracted one of the more literal strains of human rhinovirus.'

Florence Nightingale

Early Anaesthesia

Historic Medical Moments: The first time a body rejected a heart before it was transplanted.