Medical Meme Fan T-Shirts

"Your blood pressure is hitting the jackpot today."

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Lactose Intolerant

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Providing Healthcare For All

"All my symptoms are old ... "

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"I think it stopped breathing."

Dog forced to return bone

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

World Cup Fever

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."