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Gynaecology Dept.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Providing Healthcare For All

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

Happy Birthday to you.

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

'Time for your pills.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Operating Room Humor. Why are anesthesiologists assumed to be honest? Because numb-ers don't lie!

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"Gross."

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'Long shift?'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

World Cup Fever

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."