Medical Mayhem Lover Mugs

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Future garbage truck driver.

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Jester Surgeon

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

'Will you be wanting this?'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

Paging for a Doctor

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'The donor for your face transplant was a Mr. Bonzo.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

'Just another couple of pages.'