Medical Magpie Pillows

Surgeon with a pen knife.

2021

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"This will be a tricky operation."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'