Medical Insurance Broker Pillows

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

Writers' Compensation

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'Sorry - global warming is not covered!'

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

'Sorry, our HMO doesn't approve treatments of 'owies'.'

Warning: Eating This Food Could Result in a Decrease of Health Benefits

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'