Medical Insurance Broker Mugs

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

Writers' Compensation

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

"Just to be on the safe side, I'd like to start an aggressive course of billing you."

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"Let me make this perfectly opaque..."

Our coaches are from top college teams. Questions. Why aren't you in training? Sports Camp. Rotator cuff injury. Concussion. Back surgery. Counselor. Ok, campers. Let's show them what you've got! Excellent health insurance card representation!

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

'Sorry - global warming is not covered!'

"We can't have Single Payer - what will people do without claim denials and endless hoops to jump through?"

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

"Your insurance company decided the heart surgery isn't necessary, but they said they'd approve breast augmentation."

'Sorry, our HMO doesn't approve treatments of 'owies'.'

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

I told myself I wasn't going to cry at his funeral

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

Warning: Eating This Food Could Result in a Decrease of Health Benefits

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

"Want me to send my nurse in here to tickle you? Laughter is the only medicine you can afford."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'