Medical Fiction Lover Pillows

'You're a doctor and you were making a house call? -- You expect anybody to believe that alibi?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

Robocop and Juliet.

Real Life/Surreal Life

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Astronaut finds used firework on the moon.

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

Jester Surgeon

"I feel your pain level."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

Paging for a Doctor

Behind Every Stupid Man

'I've got this splitting headache.'

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Cat Frankenstein

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Save Mars

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."