Medical Director Pillows

'Omelette! Nothing but omelette! Day by day, week by week! Geez, I'm sick of omelette!'

"Looks like we found the issue."

Where your mind & battle are los

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"This position has become very important to the company."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

2021

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Showbiz Awards

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Director/Action Man toy.

Benedict Cumberbatch

"We've made great progress!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."