Medical Decision Pillows

"I was told you didn't want a pacemaker fitted."

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Time for your pills.'

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"When I said, 'I want you to sleep on it'. I menat when you go home tonight."

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

'But Father, I don't want to study space time temporal theories in relation to collapsing pulsars, I want to do my own thing!'

'Sometimes I wish I had never sold my camels!'

"Let's honor this young future farmer - he's ready to endure hard labor, long hours and outrageously low farm prices..."

"I like the idea of becoming a prosecutor: charging people appeals to me..."

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

Infected Macron

'I'm having my colon checked.'

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"He detects disease."

'Thanks for leaving that sponge in me, Doc. Now I can drink twice as much wine.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Celebration in operating theatre.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"I try to lay low after making unpopular business decisions."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

Healthy Eating Casualties