Medical Cost Critic Pillows

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

'I did everything I could, but I'm still only going to make about $40,000 on this operation.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Republican Healthcare

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

Have you drugged your child today?

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Government looks for new targets over GPs pay

Surgical Self-Service

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

"But Doctor - will the government pay for Ferris Buelleritis?"

'Sales are up 12% since we moved Recovery over here to the hospital gift shop.'

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."