Medical Comedy Appreciator Pillows

'It's not my osteoporosis...I recently discovered slot machines!'

'Um ... no - I said we'll need a stool sample.'

"Goodness me! Diane, we're going to need the angle grinder again..."

"B-14!. . . B. . . Uh, excuse me. . . Nellie?! Would you care to step up here and share your 'bile duct' problems with the rest of the group?!"

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.