Medical Care Pillows

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

'Try not to move.'

'This one was real stubborn. Had to up his medication three times before he'd agree to sign the liability waver.'

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

'Is he well enough to look at his hospital bill, doctor?'

My job is mostly seasonal. The busiest times are cold season, flu season, and allergy season.

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

'Of COURSE we're patient focussed and I've got the paperwork to prove it!'

I.V. snap in elevator.

'Is this hospital any good for scarlet fever?'

'To reduce skyrocketing medical costs, we'll decrease the availability of care-givers!'

'Doctor Bohan will see you now, Mrs. Stradley, but he really doesn't want to.'

"They're to remind me to change your bandages."

'His vital signs are fine. That means his insurance just ran out.'

'Give it to me straight, doc. If I outlive medicare, will I have to flee Canada?'

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

Mike's nagging injury was almost too much to bear.

A nurse refuses to hand deliver a meal to a man with a contagious disease.

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'It doesn't matter when we schedule your surgery, Mrs. Root. We don't accept coupons.'

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

'You either need an antihistamine or a heart transplant -- I'll have to check your credit rating to be sure.'

'I could kiss it and make it better, but it's not covered by your insurance.'

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

Drive-thru Flu Clinic.

40 minutes in this position

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

Coma for twenty years

'Frankly I'm looking for a doctor I won't outlive and have to change to another.'

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'I must be out of danger - they're moving me to NIC, No Insurance Care...'

'You'll turn into a butterfly.'

'Luckily he has dementia so he's go some imaginary friends coming in to look after him.'