Medical Care Pillows

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

'Try not to move.'

"Not that one...the big one on the top shelf!"

'This one was real stubborn. Had to up his medication three times before he'd agree to sign the liability waver.'

'Is he well enough to look at his hospital bill, doctor?'

My job is mostly seasonal. The busiest times are cold season, flu season, and allergy season.

'Of COURSE we're patient focussed and I've got the paperwork to prove it!'

'Don't ask how much your hospital bill is because we have no way of knowing.'

I.V. snap in elevator.

'Is this hospital any good for scarlet fever?'

'To reduce skyrocketing medical costs, we'll decrease the availability of care-givers!'

'Your sugar level is off the chart. Don't worry. We'll whip you back into shape in no time.'

Mike's nagging injury was almost too much to bear.

'Doctor Bohan will see you now, Mrs. Stradley, but he really doesn't want to.'

"They're to remind me to change your bandages."

'His vital signs are fine. That means his insurance just ran out.'

'Give it to me straight, doc. If I outlive medicare, will I have to flee Canada?'

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

'It doesn't matter when we schedule your surgery, Mrs. Root. We don't accept coupons.'

A nurse refuses to hand deliver a meal to a man with a contagious disease.

Mammogram

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

40 minutes in this position

'You either need an antihistamine or a heart transplant -- I'll have to check your credit rating to be sure.'

Drive-thru Flu Clinic.

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

'I could kiss it and make it better, but it's not covered by your insurance.'

'Yes, I know you're only forty two. But like I said, you're in great shape for a sixty five year old.'

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'I must be out of danger - they're moving me to NIC, No Insurance Care...'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

GP to cat - 'In view of the new polyclinic up the road, yes we are opening our books to new patients.'

Chiropractor