Medical Billing Decoder Pillows

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

Information vs. confusion

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

Medical Billing & Coding

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

'No, no, no...that's far too legible. Shakier. Much shakier!'

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

'I'm now ready to make my own way in the world. But first, can you guys loan me 200 grand to pay off my student loan?'

'No, that's not his scary Halloween zombie costume, that's his scary ICD-10 rollout look.'

More holiday ICD-10 codes you may encounter...

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

'It's the toxic learning environment.'

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

'The Electronic Health Records software works very well. I entered the patient's medications, vitals, and allergies. The software calculated the course of treatment, projected outcome, and anticipate insurance reimbursement.'

"Good news! Your health care provider has agreed to pay for that tongue depressor I used on you. However, you will have to pay for everything else."

The good news is they'll probably name it after me!

"This is the patient, doctor..."