Medical Bill Detective Pillows

'When you have your health, you have everything except money to pay for healthcare.'

Invoice: 'That's good laughter is the best medicine.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"If it's an expensive surgery, we now implant a GPS tracking device for the hospital's collections department."

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

John Snow

"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."

Medical Billing & Coding

'It has nothing to do with relativity. He's trying to figure out his cable bill.'

"Parts and labor?"

'We're moving you from intensive care to intensive billing.'

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

'The biopsy is tiny, but it will cost you an arm and a leg.'

Doctor getting ready to give lady an injection...

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

"Well, you helped me with my initial health issue, but now I've got headaches from dealing with billing and insurance!"

"Doctor Wilson believes in preventive financing, so regardless of your insurance, fill out this loan application form."

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

"The doctor will bill you now."

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

Yes, I do think second opinions can be worthwhile, but not from 'Evonica, All-Knowing Mystical Seer and Soothsayer'!

"Oh, the doctor does keep up. He gets accounting magazines on the latest billing methods."

"Freddy, take this back and add it up again. I was your maths teacher, remember."

"I can't wait until we convert to electronic health records. Carry these is giving me backache."

"Of course it's hard to understand. They wouldn't be billing 'codes' , if they were easy to decipher."

"Alrighty, let's work out that copay."

Winter Weather Forecast: Wicked Cold....with sudden warm spells.

'Before we start, let me tell you why I have to overcharge you.'

"Reimbursements are still shrinking - billing sent us the latest payment to read."

'How come routine care breeds intensive billing?'