Medical Anomaly Fan Pillows

'The bad news is you had two diseases no one in history ever had together, The good news is they canceled each other out'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"You're sure it's a birthmark?"

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"But the P.R. guy says he's going to be O.K."

Medical Curiosities

"I'm afraid the shark got your arms and legs. It's probably not a good time, but your brother's here. He needs a kidney."

Sewing Machines in Surgery

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

Sling

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'Quite frankly, Mr. Bayliss, you've got us baffled.'

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

Nose Jobs $2.

"There's no response! Are you sure he's in there?"

'No, there is no such thing as generic doctors!'

'I hear you practice modern medicine.'

'You're fine.'

"I can't find anything wrong with you at all."

'Wow! Well this certainly rules out hypochondria!'

'For patients with a diagnosis of amnesia, send billing statements weekly until paid.'

Seal/Yak Disease