Medical Anomaly Admirer Pillows

"Bad news: I think I'm having a heart attack. Good news: I'm no longer having an anxiety attack."

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

Little doctor.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Parts Department

Doctors

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

Alexander Fleming

Medical Examinations.

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'Urology...can you hold?'

Doctor testing patient reflexes with unusual results.

"The good news is, with gene therapy, it's now possible to grow back legs."

Cardiology, Neurology and Ophthalmology.

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

"And now to check the patient's reflexes."

'Howard, I wish you'd stop bring your work home with you.'

"It appears you have a virus."

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

"This feels so familiar."

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'Isn't medical progress marvellous? If we'd been sat here a hundred years ago, we'd be dead by now!'

'In simple terms, bacterial infections can be treated with anti-biotics such as penicillin - whereas a virus is something yur computer gets.'

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

'Let's see now...'

'You have echolalia — it's very common among politicians.'