Medic On Duty Pillows

Emergency room notice - 'Wait hours, or go home'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

Keyworker

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

Modern Warfare: Surgical Strike

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'You MAY feel a teeny-tiny pin-prick..'

Cuba applauds its doctors

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

"Did you call for a Medic?"

The Uses of a Stethoscope

'Where does it hurt?'

Team medic spraying deodorant

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

'Hey, have all you guys got some kind of air borne disease?'

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

'That was quick!'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

'I can't turn it off.'

"Your recovery has defied all known science...so let's just keep this between ourselves!"

'Did he say anything before he died?'

"Some 'King'. They didn't even give me an N95."

Doctors Without Borders/Lawyers Without Scruples...

Injured player

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."