Mediation Master Gifts

Bridging the Gap

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Dialogue

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Changing Minds

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

Collective Psyche

"At least we agree to disagree."

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"O.K., if you put it that way."

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.