Master Negotiator Gifts

"He'll see you now, but I should warn you � he secretly despises you."

'Here lies one of THE GREAT contract negotiators...it says so in the fine print.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'I worked out a deal with management that if I trim two minutes off of every coffee break, they'll let me retire 14 months early,'

It's been a pleasure taking you to the cleaners.

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

'A few of us are leaving a little bit early if that's ok with you sir.'

"Ive' learned that if you tell them you got all As on your report card, you don't have to clean your room or your plate for a week."

"He was a legend amongst salesmen. He even managed to sell me this wreath on his death bed, to bring to his funeral!"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Changing Minds

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21