Media Watcher Gifts

Gentlemen, the economy is improving...leak the news to the media.'

"Hey! That news anchor just said something completely unbiased. I wonder what brought THAT on?"

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Tree house.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Fear of news.

'Och lye the news'

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

"If we gave them press freedom they'd only want democracy too..."

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'We're there already? I'm still watching my video!'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

A Journalist's Weapons

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

Incorrect weather forecasts.

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

It's a Dog's life

And here is the day's news that we are going shove down your throat.

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'