Media Attention Pillows

'Celebrity shopping please ignore.'

'We're requesting a delay so my client can appear on a lot of talk shows.'

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Occu-Pie Mars

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

In the Guru District

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"National security adviser"

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Gay Times...

If nobody had invented graphics

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Meet the Enemy

Studies show foods work miracles!

'There's nothing on.'

Cord cutter

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."