Media Advisor Pillows

'Nobody likes me. I need a media advisor.'

'First we have to convince the people that good health isn't everything.'

"Another triumph for new Labour..."

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

In the Guru District

'How fast can you hype?'

Squeezing the Free Press.

"National security adviser"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Press Freedom

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Studies show foods work miracles!

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'