Mechanical Tinkerer Gifts

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

'First of all, it didn't malfunction, it broke. Never waste a $20 word on a $2 car.'

"Get vaccinated!"

But this is more than the estimate!

Vandalism in public transport

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Painting the Ceiling

Drool Marks

Tool Box

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Early cyborg.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

The Not-So Smart Meter

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.