Meat Connoisseurs Pillows

'This 'turkey bacon' thing -- I don't know whether to feel insulted or relieved.'

'I was like you once, full of ambition! AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT MEEE!'

Mary had a little lamb.

"Just our luck...everything but us tastes just like chicken."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

Important Food Groups

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Regular service or affected?"

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

*=Hotdog

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Family Butcher.

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"Veal or non-veal?"

Faux Poop!

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

The Pooperrazzi