Maxim Collector Gifts

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'These are job perks.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

'When played backwards these say terrible things like 'do your homework' and 'clean your room.''

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

The Death of the Blues

'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'Music & Gym'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

'If you've brought us gifts we don't want any more Des O'Connor records!'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I wonder what this was for."