Maverick Inventor Gifts

"He's our ideas man - I can never tell if he's working or not."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

Sisyphus during Covid

Targets.

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"Dangnabit, Wilson! Where's that big campfire I asked for?"

Health Care Crisis table.

'I like to think of the common bile duct as the gateway to the Bahamas.

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'I say we try it.'