Mature Shopper Pillows

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

Cut Price

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Customer Convention

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

Self-Checkout.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

Irregulars

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'In the war against full price, we are winning...'

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'