Mattress Stuffer Gifts

"I take it you've never had a bank account before?"

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Don't look at me!'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

"We can't agree on a size."

New Age Office Supplies Catalog.

The Mattress Savings Bank

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

"There's probably room for one more."

'Sleeping through Monday is the coward's way out!'

Christmas Cow.

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

Giant Sale: 'I said it was simply a misunderstanding.'

'Just what I didn't want... chocolate euros!'

The domino effect.

DadMomSisBrother Stockings. Brother's has a hole in the toe.

'I won't be coming to see you again. I've purchased a therapeutic mattress.'

"Firm yet comfortable, with 420 individual spring posture coils to enhance support. Perfect for hiding under."

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

Man hangs Christmas stocking on tree.

"Before I serve seconds I'd like everyone to take out their phones and complete a short survey rating Barbara's fig-nut stuffing."

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."

With a round little belly like a bowl of jalea, he struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea.

"I drink to forget."

The Princess and the Pea

"Uh, sir...madam...the sign just meant for customers to sit or lay on the mattress to see how comfortable...oh my!"

Santa Claus