Maths Teacher Pillows

'It's not an accounting breakthrough, Sam. It's wrong.'

'If you had £12 in one pocket and £8 in the other, what would you have?'

'My class can't wait to start multiplication. I made them sign a pledge never to use it for evil purposes.'

'He was very big in Vienna.'

'I cannot give you full credit unless you can describe the process used to arrive at your answer.'

With these ten digits I will be able to keep you busy with homework for the entire school year.

'Tax.'

'You don't need a PIN number, Eddie. Just subtract.'

"Okay, what's 7x8? 9x4?"

"You caught me at a bad time. My smartphone needs charging."

'Math would be more fun if we weren't always studying pyramids.'

'Today we're going to subtract how old you are fom how many years your parents have been married!'

Insult + injury = 'I hate story problems!'

Rabbit Maths.

'If it took three men six hours to dig a ditch, how long would it take two men?'

'Please Miss, I know what comes before 8. My school bus!'

'If you have 5 pieces of candy and you give Ben 2 pieces of candy, what do you have?'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'You can't be a mathematician and have a sense of humor.' - 'You can't be a mathematician and not have a sense of humor.'

'City workers to retrain as teachers.'

'It's been done.'

'No, 4 plus 4 isn't 7 Central Time.'

'Poor fellow. One really is the loneliest number.'

The useless maths teacher couldn't count on his students.

'I'd find math even more interesting if we didn't have to do all that math.'

A Puppet Named Juan

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."