Math Professor Pillows

Professor Herman paused when he heard that unmistakable thud - another brain had imploded.

Wait, what was the question again?

"Ah ha! Every particle of matter attracts every other particle with a force proportional to product of the masses and to the inverse square of the distance...OUCH!"

"I wish that life was as logical as Algebra."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"My grant is somewhat restrictive. I have to work only with even numbers."

"It's an excellent proof, but it lacks warmth and feeling."

'Face it - anecdotal evidence just doesn't carry any weight in math.'

'Euclid's Cat'

Cross Section

"Everything in the world can be explained through numbers."

"Then I say to myself, 'What's the use? There isn't any Nobel Prize for math.'"

"But somehow sudoku baffles me."

"Even though I've come this far, I'm still not sure which is the numerator and which is the denominator."

'What attracted me to math is that it deals with hidden truths.'

A Wrecked-angle.

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

'Space is curved and time is relative, eh? -- Is this your way of asking for a day off?'

'I like you < I used to.'

"I was mistaken, these kids LOVE STATISTICS!"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

British savings accounts

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Mario Draghi

'But I digress...'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'