Math Joke Appreciator Pillows

'I thought we were going halves.'

What's an Imax cave?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

Laughing Zone Ahead

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

OMG.

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Split the last one?

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

Shortly Thereafter, They Would Make Sweeping Changes To Their Policies.

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

"He can be a real charmer when he wants to be."

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

The Seafood House. Comic Waiters. The Seafood House now has comedians for waiters. Fish and quips!

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

"You think the food is bad, wait till you hear the pilot's jokes."