Maternal Guardian Gifts

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"It's trickle down."

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

"Beware of God"

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"Of course I mind—they're mine, and I want all of them."

A day in the life of a dog.

Take You Home

'Not only is he cute and smart but he's had all his shots too.'

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

Deer Crossing.

"The best way, son, is to bury your bones in airtight containers: it will keep them clean and fresh..."

"But is it Organic?"

"i finally got around to reading the 'Having A Baby' books."

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

Safety is about FAMILY!...

"Freeze, or I'll mop the floor with you!"

Make a careful study of these creatures and use every means to combat them...

An angel in heaven is walking an angel dog.

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

Pay Now . . . or Pay Later.

"Please make it snow tonight. Karen Garvin wants me to be her valentine."

'Should you be doing that?'

Dog Funerals.

"He's still there. Try adding an angry face emoji."

A climate sceptic gets warmed up...

"I'm afraid I may have murdered the trees."

(Attack Dog) (It's about character stupid!)

Beware of the Dog

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Female hormone before and after pregnancy.'

"Can I see your pilot's license? My teacher said you're a helicopter parent."