Matchmaking Aficionado Gifts

'Oh sure, Rupert's lovely, but his mate's a total slime-bag.'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

 'It's really simple, Scruffy. Just put your scent on this card and we'll run it through the computer.'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

Drive in movies.

"You lack spontaniety."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Let's do it, let's fall in love!"

"It's the wine talking. I stopped speaking to you twenty minutes ago due to lack of interest."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

'That's the last time I'm sitting in the front row!'

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

'You think you're an incurable romantic? My prescription is to get married.'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

"Let me slip into something more humorous."

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"