Match Analysis Pillows

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Reading my Critics

Six Thinking Hats

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

"...but this is the stuff of dreams Mr Whitley! Dreams."

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

Profit slump

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

Micro and Macro Department,

"Remember, data doesn't tell the whole story."

'Typical phallic egocentrism!'

'We're in a hurry.'

Political Analysis

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

Praying for a goal assist.

'Please disregard the previous message about the imminent collapse of the global economy'

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

'Bugger! My brain's just pulled a hammy.'

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

He had finally calculated that the Cubs would win the Series.

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

Physics: Unified Theory. Luftkopf's work on string theory is all tangled up.

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!