Match Analysis Pillows

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

Reading my Critics

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Six Thinking Hats

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Thursday-Morning Quarterback"

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

"...but this is the stuff of dreams Mr Whitley! Dreams."

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'

Profit slump

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

Micro and Macro Department,

"Remember, data doesn't tell the whole story."

'We're in a hurry.'

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

Political Analysis

'Typical phallic egocentrism!'

'Please disregard the previous message about the imminent collapse of the global economy'

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

'Bugger! My brain's just pulled a hammy.'

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."