Mastermind Escapist Pillows

"It's escapism-as-art."

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Tree house.

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

2000 words was tough, but doable. Billy would play the picture paints a 1000 words card, twice!

"Timothy, success is nothing to fear."

Eager to pull a prank on his chiropractor, Dennis taped a bag of potato chips to the small of his back.

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

Bike Wash

'The curious incident of the dig in the night-gown.'

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

I'm afraid we only accept manuscripts through an agent, except spy novels, which we only accept through a double agent.

"Mr. Cogdill said he won't be in today because it's 'National I Hate My Job Day'."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

Message in a bottle.

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"How about this? The story of a little reindeer whose exclusion from reindeer games led to the study of math and science, enabling him to develop levitation tech and thus eliminate the need for flying reindeers, thereby consigning his early tormentors to

"To save time, Dr. Nuclear, we ask that you stop following every correct answer with a bout of maniacal laughter."

Of the seven, which dwarf do you identify with?

Virtual Reality Check

"I have no problem with reality. It's just the occasional intrusion of gritty realism that I hate."

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'

'Let's just see how long they can stay crouched behind the sofa.'

Scientists watching a lab rat escape from a maze by helicopter.

'Can you call me back later? I'm trying to think up excuses to get out of jury duty.'

'I got to get home quick to hack the principal's email to my dad.'

Castaway Building a Sand Bridge

"They say you're good with forgeries?"