Master Planner Gifts

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"What's your exit strategy?"

"Ah - in here I can really relax and think..."

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

'Planning Department.'

"I have this need to get away from it all."

"Ralph always did play the long game.:

"We only got six days of funding."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

Bad Office Planning

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Father Time Management

Clear construction agreements are important.

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

Cat Day Planner.

"My schedule is just nuts."

"Well let`s see. It's going to be tight but I could squeeze you in for a walk at 1 pm."

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"We can't go back to what we do best because that's obsolete now!"

"I want you to know that the school board is very pleased with your efforts to make this new budget work."

'Steve, I admire your determination to make this plan work.'

'Company planning department'