Master Of Zingers T-Shirts

Justice for a heckler.

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

Up your end.

Wordplay: Lemonade - Save the Lemon.

"The guy's a natural!"

'Answer me one question, would you?' 'O.K.' 'Do you still love me?' 'That's two!'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

"It's about keeping the bunny alive within each of us."

'Among my many talents, not shown on my resume, is that I can say 'multivarient transformative interactive analytical heterogenacity in management leadership' three times fast.'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

'Oooh, man! You really has me going with that fake shark fin!!'

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

"...and so I left Wall Street and made a killing in poetry."

"One More Swing."

"Period of compete oscillation of pendulum..."

'Seven 'provided', thirteen 'buts' and twenty seven 'ifs' - this is the best stockmarket forecast to clients I've ever read.'

"One thing's for sure, nobody can fan a ball like you."

"What about me? Am I not a natural disaster?"

"You had me at sextile moon."

"Yes, you can marry my daughter, as long as you get out of the way, please."

"This one will work for a minute, then jag viciously to the left, rotate 360 degrees, then only move sideways!"

'Hey, I know what -- Let's have an enlightenment telethon!'

Sadly, Sid would put too much faith in the immunity idol.

'Which do you prefer being called...'rich' or job creator'?'

Graham Greene.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, manuscript writer

'I'm John Glynn. My dad is your dad's boss. Give me that swing.'